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| wow. I really haven't felt this good in a long time. Tomorrow is valentine's day and I haven't made valentines for like...anyone. I'm so darn lazy, I haven't done anything for so long for anyone else and thats just so damn depressing. I feel horrible about things I've said and done lately, and I don't want to feel bad, but I do. Fletcher if you do end up reading this, I am sorry. No matter what happens I'll always end up being your friend and I care about you... Meanwhile, back at the farm, I've started knitting a new shirt, Excited face. It should be ready just in time for spring...or at least I hope so. Well, I sure as hell don't know what else to say here, so adios and best wishes until next read. | | |
| Wow it's been a while. I love looking back on last year and remembering how mature I thought I was and laughing at myself because of what I know today...I know I'm only a sophomore, but I can not wait to get out of here. I've started looking at colleges and what I'm interested in and what schools I should apply to and how I might be able to get in....I mean hell I've almost started an application already, trying to prepare and all....It's almost pathetic how badly I want to start my life. I don't even know if I have enough money for a four year college... I have plenty of time to worry about it all so I'm trying to repress all of my feelings for leaving. I want to be happy again. I want to do things that will make me happy I mean. I need to find classes, like art classes and computer design classes and all that kind of stuff....For college and for myself. I want to be able to find time to relax and make myself enjoy what I'm doing again, I need a place away from this house, because if I try and do anything here, it will end with "clean your room" " help me make dinner" " wash the damn floors with a toothbrush"....I'm tired of it all, I want to express myself for once through something people will appreciate and enjoy and respect.....I can see why Fletcher does origami now, because he wants respect...but I guess you can't get respect without giving it...He's a brilliant person. Most wouldn't say that, but I know he really is. If all goes well I'll be out of here before I know it. | | |
| My grades are crap.
My hair is turning grey.
I'm fattt, lol chubster.
my grandma is a bitch.
I lost my boyfriend.
School is long.
I'm sleeping all the time.
I'm obsessed with my loved ones dieing.
The one person that can cheer me up in any mood is moving to florence for the best schooling one could get.
I'm having friend problems.
I've been a complete bitch lately.
I don't want to seniors to leave.
And....Im depressed out of my fucking mind.
I'm sorry if im acting like an attention whore.
I can not wait until summer. | | |
| I feel like posting stuff until we leave, its a better waste of time. OMG FOUR DAYSSSS!!!
im so friggin excited.
I have to do all the work before i leave though :[ thats not cool. That hole in my heart still hasn't left, whenever im not talking to someone i just get that depressed look on my face like i don't think i can stand another minute. I don't get it, I have plenty to be upset about, but i have no feelings about it, like there isn't anything in my soul, its just...nothing. Well Austria is soon hopefully the European setting will help me out, im so excited.
Loves | | |
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